Hey this may b a random starting but i guess this is the best way to know exactly how i feel n what has gone wrong with me. Honestly, i know that i will score around the range of 11 to 13 but it's just that i have not accept the fact yet. Life is seriously unfair. The effort, hardwork, sacrification, tears, studying and burning midnight oil did not pay off. 5 years of education in Pasir Ris just mark the results and certificate we get today/yst. Results- that's what everyone sees Only isn't it? Who will ever spare a thought to understand the tough time and moment we have endured for the preparation of O's? Please, not even parents.
''You will do well so don't worry'' ''I will clap the loudest when ur name appears on the top students' list'' ''Sure can one lah'' etc etc etc...Now what? Anyone else want to do the speaking now? My turn. Why place high hopes on me? Didn't i warn you guys that am not as smart as what ur think? See. It's proven.
It has been 18 yrs and abt 11 yrs of education. Still, i have not live up to expectations.Be it PSLE or O's, i only bring back disappointment. Should i accept my fate that am destined to b a failure?
''What about ur frends? Did they perform?'' That's what all parents will ask their child after knowing how their own beloved one did isn't it? Honestly, i don't blame my mom for asking becoz in e future i may ask my child such question as well :/ ya Just out asking out of curious. But do you know what? It hurts to tell especially when they performed way beyond you. 4A1s. It's like Wow. Am impressed totally. Congrats then. Am not jealous of her/theirs results frankly speaking. Actually i have predicted that she/they will do well and appear in the top students' list. Then here comes my million dollar question (Ms Jaslin's favourite line) : Where the hell is my name-Tan Xin Ci?
where where where? Tell me if u see it bcoz i don't!!!
It's not that i want to boost about my EXCELLENT results in front of the crowd but it really matters to me! I want to tell my parents and most importantly tell my Grandma the feeling of shaking hands with my principal(for the last time) and with many cameras around me. I want them to feel Proud. I want to make the calls immediately in the Hall, the moment i got my results. However, it never happens. Where and how do i find the courage from to make that 'Proud call' ? Like how i did last yr-when receiving my O level Emath result, i simply let my phone rings and vibrates because i totally have no courage to inform them my results. Oh ya at least i learn smth last year: Never break down in the crowd! So this time, i didn't. Smart move:)
All right let't keep that aside/ erase it away. Am fine really:)
Hey ppl, no matter what ur results are, it's fixed!
So, let's cry over it and move on ya.
Think the positive side: Mayb God give u this result is to guide you to a Better place, to know Better people and turn u to b a Better person with a Bright Future:)
So, Breathe and make wise decision!
No one knows better then urselves.
So, do what you like and Be Happy.
That's what it matters in Life isn't it?
YES:)
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