I have to admit this fucking thing that i so wanted to get rid off- My damn small dumb mind is All About Him. It's kind of sux but it's beyond my control. Like what am i suppose to do? Knock on my head, open my brain and Dig Him out?! I wish i could.

I have been telling myself- 'NO! You can't fall for him. HE's not the right one and he will never be. Damn it. There will be a day where you have to part with him. Control Control. Off your phone, delete his number,texts, everything about him have to end up in the Rubbish Bin. Guess what?! I did partially. I hope it works but currently it didn't. So what? am i suppose to hook up with any man in the street and say ' hey date with me till that man are dead in my mind'. Mad.

I thought i could control my feeling. I thought everything will be fine after some time. Unfortunately it didn't. Am missing him like Mad, wanting to stay by his side for as long as i could, calling him n talk till his voice bring me to sleep...I want Him. I know you must be freak out. Am Not That type of gal. I should be strong, independent, enjoy my singlehood life, live without man...ya I'm Still this Type of gal. But.... only if i have not fall so deeply.